Spider-lings are Few But Illnesses are Many
by PigfartsMalfoy
Summary: Spider-man desperately wants to train with the Avengers but sometimes his body doesn't want the same thing his mind wants...


Spiderman ducks before delivering a jump kick to Captain America. Captain America! Of all people!

"Sorry Sir, you know I admire you but Mr Stark said I can't go easy on you!"

"Kiddo, more fighting less apologising."

"Sorry Sir."

A bell rings and Peter limps onto the next mat. Training for the Avengers is cool, especially as he isn't _technically _an Avenger, considering the fact that he turned down Mr Stark. In his defense, he thought it was a test and thinking back it probably was as he's standing next to Thor right now. Anyway, they're doing a carousel of hand to hand combat, in full uniform, but Peter isn't quite in the mood. His head is pounding, his stomach is turning and his senses are ever so slightly turned up too high.

"Spider Tony-son! How are you? Are the Midgardians treating you well?" Thor booms.

"Er, yeah I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired." As he says this, he immediately knows it's wrong. His Spidey sense is too slow, picking up on the way his body is complaining rather than the incoming punches. Thor and Peter fight, quite evenly matched, Thor in strength, Peter in agility. But this isn't for long. Peter stumbles as his stomach flips, and realises a split second too late that Thor's fist is heading straight for his jaw, sending him spinning. Peter practically staggers to the bin, pulling his mask up to spit out his meagre breakfast from earlier. Karen's voice sounds urgent from the mask now lying on the floor.

"Parker, would you like me to send a distress signal to the Boss?"

"He knows already, Karen. Kid, are you alright?"

"Have I hurt the Midgardian?"

"No, I'm pretty sure he was ill before but didn't tell me." Tony sets the now-dry heaving teen onto the floor, leaning against the wall. "Why do you do this, Underoos?"

"Didn't want to miss today." Peter coughs once more before being handed a water-bottle from Natasha.

"You do realise there are more Saturdays than just this one?"

"Sorry Mr Stark."

"God, Tony, why did you not tell me that Spiderman, who I beat up in Germany, is like twelve years old?"

"Captain America, with all due respect, I'm actually sixteen."

"Enough talking kiddo. You're done."

"Mr Stark-"

"Nat- get him upstairs."

"No, Mr Stark. Too loud."

Tony recognises Peter's all too familiar position, hands over eyes, scrunched up face. "FRIDAY, activate overload settings."

"Of course Boss. Peter's room is set up." The AI whispers and Tony nods.

"Cap, do you think you can get a sensory overloaded kid upstairs? His room should be the only one unlocked."

"Sure." Cap whispers encouragements to Peter until the frail boy slowly stands up. Cap trails the slight kid upstairs while the other Avengers clear up.

"What's up with that kid?" Natasha asks.

"Peter Parker. Sophomore at Midtown High for Science and Technology. Based in Queens. Got bitten by a radioactive spider on a field trip to Oscorp. Now he can climb walls, and create web fluid but his senses are dialled up to eleven- his words not mine. He gets sensory overload every so often. Have a feeling this isn't just that though."

"Nope. He has a fever of about 103.4. Kid didn't even apologise when I had to get him into his pajamas. You know they have me and you on them?" Steve chuckles as he comes back in. "Anyway, he's asleep. He's kinda cute. You sure he's sixteen?"

"Oh yeah. Met his Aunt May and everything. She's weirdly hot. I thought aunts were supposed to be unattractive but he has good genetics."

"Aunt May?" Dr Banner questions.

"I did some digging round. His parents were killed in a plane crash, an Oscorp plane. Yeah, the very same company as the place where he got bitten. Coincidence? Then his Uncle Ben got shot by a bunch of muggers outside Queens Museum. So, Aunt May is all he has."

"He's got us now. School situation?" Natasha stops removing the various spider webs.

"Two friends. Ned Leeds, his Guy In A Chair, knows everything, and MJ, more of an acquaintance, who most certainly knows everything, from just observing his behaviour. Bright kids. Not popular."

"You really didn't bother to tell us this before we attacked him, Stark?" Natasha is visibly upset. Tony sighs and beckons them all upstairs to the lounge.

"Here's the thing. He's a real nerd- hear me out-and could stay all day in the labs. When he got bitten, he didn't bother telling May anything. She thought he was dying, then he just bounced back. The first time I saw him, he was so skinny. He and May couldn't afford three straight meals a day if May wasn't constantly working at the hospital overtime. The kid felt like he didn't deserve to eat if he didn't save some for May. I offered him a suit, all he wanted to do was pay me back and make me proud. He hid Spider-man from May for fear of her freaking out about his safety each night. He wouldn't take a break from patrol until I made Karen hijack his controls and let me pick him up. The kid's good. Real good. And all life ever did was treat him like shit."

"Tony. This isn't your fault-"

"It is. He told me the last words Uncle Ben ever said to him. 'With great power, comes great responsibility.' The kid blames himself. He told me if he'd stopped that same burglar, instead of just warning him, the burglar wouldn't have shot Ben. So he took those last words literally. Spent all night, every night in that stupid onesie, just trying to do the right thing. The number of times he's checked in after patrol, and I've been shocked by how beat up he is. He just said his super-healing would take care of it. One time, he got stabbed. He passed it off as a scratch. That it was a light stab. The knife was still in him when he came back. I stitched him up here and sent him home. I was stupid. I took away his suit cause he tried to save a ferry full of people without back-up. I was stupid. If he'd had his suit, Karen would have told me Vulture had dropped a whole fucking building on top of him. God-"

"Boss, Peter is requesting assistance. He is in distress and his fever appears to have risen." FRIDAY informs the room, and Tony practically sprints down the hall.

"Told you that Man of Spiders is son of Tony. Stupid Midgardians."

"Yeah, Iron-dad and Spider-son." Clint laughs.

"I can't believe that. He's been through so much already. He's so pure, so innocent. God." Natasha leaves, presumably back to training.

"And there's Spider-Mum."

Back in Peter's room, he thrashes around in the sheets. Tony lets himself in, and is surprised to find the kid still asleep.

"FRIDAY was he awake when he requested assistance?"

"No Boss. He was in a nightmare and called out for you."

"FRIDAY, what exactly did he say?"

"Boss, I believe it was 'Mr Stark, help, please you have to help me'"

"FRIDAY you're supposed to inform me of these facts in the distress call. Remind me to add that to your protocol."

"Already added, Boss."

"Oh. Well thank you." Tony sits by Peter, and strokes his hair, his gut instinct kicking in when he thinks of Pepper, and how she helps him through his PTSD-riddled night terrors. He breathes a sigh of relief when the teen calms down, visibly more relaxed. He can feel the fever so he wakes Peter up to take some Tylenol. Peter goes straight back to sleep after so Tony takes his cue to leave. But not 10 minutes later, he gets another distress call from FRIDAY.

"Boss, Parker appears to have become severely dizzy. I would suggest that I also call Dr Banner as he has practice in creating super-metabolism friendly pain medication. Natasha Romanoff has also been called with this distress alert."

"FRIDAY, are you telling me the kid has a fast metabolism?"

"Yes Boss, by my calculations it is actually faster than Steve Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes."

"And why wasn't I informed before?"

"You never asked, Boss."

"Why didn't I just donate you to those kids at MIT?"

"Because you love me."

"Yeah, yeah." Tony lowers his voice to a whisper as he enters the room where Peter is being lowered to the floor, from a crouching position. "Hey, Underoos, heard you were feeling shit."

"He was falling over when I got here, looked pretty pale." Natasha replies as Peter slumps forward onto her shoulder. Tony crouches next to Peter who attempts to give a weak smile.

"Underoos, does anything hurt?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. FRIDAY tells me you have a faster metabolism than Cap. Wanna explain why I didn't know this before?"

"Wasn't relevant."

"Of course it's relevant."

"I guess I just forgot to- to" And Peter falls back onto the floor, nearly smashing his head into the floor but for the quick reflexes of Natasha.

"Ok, where's Bruce?"

"Right here. FRIDAY updated me. I've bought some of Cap's painkillers which will help keep it at bay for now, while I tailor some more to Peter's metabolism. I see the little guy's passed out?"

"Yeah, is that the illness or what?"

"Well considering he didn't eat much and it all came back up, I'd suggest that he hasn't eaten nearly enough for a boy with his metabolism."

"Great. What do we do?"

"Set him on the bed. When he comes to, which won't be for a while, considering he seems to be asleep now, we talk to him."

"Well, get on with the meds."

The next night, all the Avengers and their partners settle in for a movie night but decide to just stream a tv show instead. That is except Peter, who is tucked up in bed. Surely? Instead, Peter crawls along the ceiling. Truth be told, he didn't know why he was doing this but he was. He heads towards the lounge, attracted to the sounds of the television. There he finds every single one of the Avengers plus more in their pajamas. Normally, he'd laugh and join them but today he feels the need to be silent. Like on a mission. He lowers himself down upside down on a web in between Natasha and Steve behind the sofa. The episode ends and Tony stops it from auto-playing the next, with the excuse of a bathroom break. He spins round to head out and promptly stumbles backwards onto the floor with a startled expression.

"Peter!"

With that, all the heroes turn to where Tony is staring. One by one, they each get the stare of Peter upside down.

"What are you doing up? Get down!" Various exclamations are made before Natasha speaks up.

"He's sleepwalking."

"What?" Tony questions.

"I can tell by the blank stare. There was one girl who would dance in her sleep in the Red Room. Peter has the same look in his eyes. Don't touch him." She says in response when Steve goes to touch him, lowering his arm.

"Peter, wake up!"

"Tony, I don't think he's Peter right now." Natasha moves towards him. "Spiderman?"

"Hey Ma'am, you alright?" Peter replies with a grin.

"I am. I just wanted to ask if I get a video of you?" Natasha pulls out her phone.

"Well, sure. Usually the kids want a cool trick."

"Can you crawl on the ceiling?"

"Yeah!" Peter goes to crawl up his web but pauses. "Where would you like me to go?"

"Just to your room, if that's alright."

"Yeah, that's cool. Let's go."

The rest of the Avengers watch in amazement as Peter effortlessly pulls himself up to the ceiling then scutters across it at an alarmingly silent pace. All the while, Natasha films him. The second they hear a door click, they burst out laughing.

"Stark, wasn't aware your ward could do that?"

"I didn't either. God, gave me a heart attack."

"Kid's got some talent. Wonder how he sticks?" Cap asks, leaning up to touch the web but is stopped by Tony.

"I wouldn't do that. You'll get stuck for, I think, about two hours. He must stick. Don't know how though."

"Enough, Tony. You're discussing the science but what about the fact that the kid sleepwalks?" Pepper interjects.

"Kids sleepwalk from stress usually unless they have an underlying condition." Clint responds. "My kid does it." He offers when questioned about his knowledge.

Natasha walks back into the room and everyone turns expectantly. "He's tucked up actually sleeping. FRIDAY will alert us if he sleepwalks again. I hacked into his doctor's records, apparently he has a history of sleepwalking starting from when his parents died. Traumatic events trigger it."

"So, the training session."

"Yeah. I think throwing up in front of your heroes is traumatic enough."

In the middle of the day, later on, Tony and Nat find themselves attempting to get Peter to eat.

"Ok, Underoos, you gotta eat or you'll faint again."

"Don't wanna."

"Come on, Underoos."

"It hurts."

"Well, as soon as you eat, you can have the meds."

"...Fine." Peter takes a sip of the soup and almost spits it out.

"Gentle does it." Tony lets Peter take his agonisingly slow pace. By the end, Peter looks worn out.

"Thanks, Dad." slips out and the boy's eyes turn wide. He lets out a sob which soon turns into hysterics.

"Tony, go take a walk. Clear your head. I'll administer the painkillers." Bruce pushes Tony out and he stumbles round down the corridor, feeling the wetness in his eyes. Pepper spots him, and upon failing to stop her husband's tears, drags him back to the lounge, forcing him onto the sofa.

"Oh my god! Stark's crying! Did his new toy just blow up?" Rhodey laughs.

"Don't." Tony says, unusually harshly. Rhodey backs off, hands up in mock surrender.

"What's got to you?" "Are you alright?""This is weird." Comments pour in before the heartbreakingly soft reply.

"He called me Dad."

With that, Steve goes to make his famous hot chocolate, Pepper lays a reassuring hand on his shoulder and the Avengers actually shut up for once.

"Why's it bothering you so much?" Nat stands propped up by the doorway. "Don't you love the kid?"

"I do. That's just it. Everyone around me gets hurt. I can't let him be another blot on the paper of my life. I told him not to get close and now there's no way that I can stop him getting close."

"The kid thinks the same." Dr Banner walks over to Tony. "He calls it his Parker Luck. He doesn't want to get close with you because every single one of his guardians without fail have been killed."

"What about Aunt May?"

"Car accident. He's been hiding it since last month. Didn't want anyone to know. He's been living in his old apartment, but he's going to be evicted soon. Landlord seems to be the only person who actually knew about Aunt May."

"Fuck. He's not been chucked into the system?"

"No. So far, CPS doesn't actually know that May Parker hasn't got a distant cousin who Peter's living with."

"He's living here now."

"Are you sure? No offense but we aren't the best company for a teenager." Rhodey scoffs.

"Listen, James. We are the only family that kid has now. I love him. Yeah, I love him. No one's gonna take that kid into care, he's been through so much shit, doesn't he deserve a family? Even if we're really dysfunctional, I trust that we are still a family and we're all that kid has now."

"Do you really mean that?" Tony's head whips round so fast, he's sure he's got whiplash. Peter stands hunched in the doorway. Tony can't find himself being mad at him anymore for being up, when the kid looks so adorable, hair sticking up, clutching at a blanket. Heck, he's wearing Spider-Man pajamas and that seals the deal.

"Yeah, kiddo. Come here." Peter shuffles into a deep hug. "Underoos, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm used to it."

"You're so brave, you're allowed to break sometimes."

"I know. I'm not sure you know that though." A growl from Peter's stomach interrupts the sweet moment.

"Let's get you something to eat first." Tony leads the barely-sixteen year old to the kitchen and the others have the sense to leave them to it. After all, not even a Spider-mom can come between Iron-dad and Spider-son.

_That was a crap ending sorry! I'm in the middle of my GCSEs and I wanted to get this out of my head before Eng Language Paper 1 tomorrow! Enjoy!_


End file.
